seems like salvation comes only in our dreams
by jadedofmara

seems like salvation comes only in our dreams

jadedofmara

Summary

Sam didn't need his gun, or Ruby's knife or Cas' blade tonight. He had the power running through his veins to end it all tonight. This sacrifice would be the most righteous thing the demons he drained could ever do. Killing Lilith, avenging his brother, tabula rasa.

Notes

Read on Dreamwidth

based on this tumblr post

Imported from Archive of Our Own. Original work id: 43109292.

Chapter 1

Sam stalked into the sanctuary of St. Mary's chapel, Dean at his side.

"I've been waiting for this. For a very long time," Sam said.

He didn't need his gun, or Ruby's knife or Cas' blade tonight. He had the power running through his veins to end it all tonight. This sacrifice would be the most righteous thing the demons he drained could ever do. Killing Lilith, avenging his brother, tabula rasa.

Lilith straightened up from her perch on the altar, leaning forward with a challenge in her eyes.

"Give me your best shot," Lilith taunted.

Sam reached out his left hand, reached within himself and channeled his energy at her. He could feel Lilith's essence, could feel just the right points to press on to crush her within her meat suit.

Lilith was crumpling, he was sure of it, but banging at the doors behind him broke his concentration.

Sam glanced away from Lilith, eyeing the closed door behind him and Dean.

"Ruby..."

Ruby had been there for him when he had no one else. Would she lie to him about killing Lilith, the goal he'd thought they'd shared since Dean died? Sam hesitated. It was enough for Lilith to speak again.

"You turned yourself into a freak. A monster. And now you're not gonna bite," Lilith smirked. "I'm sorry, but that is honestly adorable."

The banging on the doors continued. "Sam, stop! This isn't funny!" Ruby shouted.

"Kill her, Sammy!" Dean yelled from behind him.

"Sam, you can't!"

"Who are you going to trust here, Sammy?" Dean asked. "Those two hell-bitches, or your brother?"

Sam heard the doors clatter open behind him as he forced Lilith within the singularity of herself, her vessel somehow inching its way up the wall. Dean would be able to see he was strong enough to keep his word.

Sam had her pinned to St. Mary's ceiling as the last of Lilith's light guttered out from behind her ribcage. Blood poured from wounds Sam didn't remember inflicting, collecting in a pool on the floor.

Sam gasped with relief. "We did it."

Dean pulled him into a crushing hug, a steady counterpoint to Sam's euphoric energy. Sam buried his face in Dean's shoulder, the gunsmoke smell of Dad's jacket filling his nose.

Dean drew in a deep breath. "Sam? I'm sorry. What you had to do to get us here, it was worth it. In the end," he said.

Sam lifted his head to see Ruby staring in horror at something behind him. Dean's hand on the back of his neck had gone from comforting to constricting, preventing him from getting another look.

"Sammy, this is it. Our clean slate," Dean continued. "And Sam? You're not a monster. You're my brother. And I forgive you."

Sam wrenched himself away from Dean. His brother was not the forgiving type. What about killing Lilith would make that change?

Sam got the first good look at him since the fighting started. His brother had bloody tears rolling down his face, shining in the cold light of the moon. The candles around the room had all gone out. The air was unnaturally still. And Lilith's blood was still flowing from the wounds of a body dead twice-over.

The blood was flowing in a path, curling in a circle with tendrils flowing toward a scorched mark on the floor. He could feel its power calling to him, even now. The bones of the church sang with the power of ritual.

"How is this happening? Sam asked.

Dean was still looking at Lilith's dead form with rapturous awe. Ruby had to be the one to state the truth.

"It was written that the first demon shall be the last seal. And you just killed her," Ruby explained.

"What? She couldn't have... how could I have been the one to open Hell?" Sam asked. "Ruby, did you know when you set me on this path?"

"It wasn't the blood, Sam. It was you, and your choices," Ruby

The dark puddles on the floor of the chapel completed their circle, fanning out into a Catherine's Wheel. It felt as though the whole world was holding its breath.

"Dean..."

His brother was still distant as the center of the circle exploded into light, leaving black spots behind Sam's eyes. The sanctuary grew brighter. Sam pulled Dean into his arms in one last embrace. The sanctuary grew brighter. Ruby joined their little huddle, tucking her face away from the coming doom. The sanctuary grew brighter. Sam looked up at the golden tongues of light arcing toward St. Mary's ceiling as more and more was blotted out by the morning star and Sam

woke up in a tiny apartment in Palo Alto. He buried his face into Jess' sleeping form, rousing her. She turned to face him and pushed back his bangs, smiling with all her teeth.

"Hey, Sammy. We need to talk."

End Notes

title from Terrible Lie by Nine Inch Nails. please join me in ninnatural posting

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